Friday, April 20, 2007

...And Baby Makes 3...

I discussed Alec Baldwin in my post Celebrities and Narcissism on Sept. 24, 2006. Some of his film performances have been excellent, but good acting does not make a good person. To hear him talk, Alec is more intelligent than all of us, and certainly a better person. But in fact, he is not very smart at all. He compensates for his insecurity by claiming to be smarter and better than everyone, and by being demanding, controlling, and vindictive.

The recent release by TMZ of a voice mail from him to his eleven year old daughter, Ireland, shows how these characteristics get out of control.

According to TMZ, "An enraged Alec Baldwin unleashed a volcanic tirade of threats and insults on his 11-year-old daughter, Ireland, calling her a "thoughtless little pig," and bashing her mother Kim Basinger...After Ireland failed to answer her father's scheduled morning phone call from New York on April 11, Alec went berserk on her voice mail, saying "Once again, I have made an ass of myself trying to get to a phone," adding, "you have insulted me for the last time." Switching his train of thought, Baldwin then exercised his incredible parenting skills and took a shot at his ex-wife, declaring, 'I don't give a damn that you're 12-years-old or 11-years-old, or a child, or that your mother is a thoughtless pain in the ass who doesn't care about what you do.' The irate Baldwin went on to say, 'You've made me feel like s**t,' and threatened to 'straighten your ass out.' 'This crap you pull on me with this goddamn phone situation that you would never dream of doing to your mother,' screamed Baldwin, 'and you do it to me constantly over and over again.' Before hanging up, Baldwin warned the child, 'You better be ready Friday the 20th to meet with me.'"

I am not sure how long this link will actually work, but you can try to listen for your self here: Alec Baldwin's message

This man, who claims to be so brilliant, demonstrates his utter lack of self control and his total ineptness in dealing with people, especially in being a parent.

On Wednesday, Los Angeles County Superior Court commissioner Maren Nelson heard the tape and temporarily suspended Baldwin's visitation rights. A hearing is set for May 4.

To his credit, Baldwin later called and apologized for what he said. It is evident that six years of a messy divorce from Kim Bassinger have frustrated and angered him. Apparently Bassinger, who can also be vicious and vindictive, has been trying to alienate the child from her father. In addition, she allegedly leaked the recording to the public in violation of a court order. They have placed little Ireland square in the middle of their selfish battle for power, control, and retribution . If Kim and Alec were able to acknowledge their own weaknesses, and were willing to believe that a counselor could give them the knowledge and skills to overcome them, the child might not suffer. But both parents are too consumed with anger and bitterness, and too narcissistic to accept the fact that someone else could help.

The real victim, of course, is Ireland. She has learned from her father how to be controlling. She has learned from her mother how to be vindictive. She has learned from both that rage and angry language are weapons to be used with no restraint or control. And Alec has imbued her with the self-doubt that will cause her to become a narcissist just like him.

Monday, April 16, 2007

Wages and Value: We Get What We Pay For

Parade Magazine just published their annual report on what people earn. The report shows us what professions are most important to us. By reviewing the numbers, we can see whose great intelligence, finely honed technical skills, and back-breaking labor are are making the most valuable contributions to the health, education, and general well-being of our society. Here are some examples:

College Professor $64,900...Pro Soccer Player $ 50 million
Lt., Fire Dep't. $64,000....Movie Actor $25 million
School Nurse $88,000...Author of novels $28 million
Probation Officer $45,000...Rock Singer $15.6 million
Police Lt. $64,000...Radio/TV Host $12 million
Respiratory Therapist $87,000...Pro Tennis Player $3.8 million
Children's Librarian $30,700...Singer/designer $175 million
Child Care Provider $24,000...Actor $3.3 million
Registered Nurse $76,000...Country Singer $75.9 million
Pharmacist $87,000...Baseball Player $18 million
Guidance Counselor $54,000....Actor $23 million
Medical Resident $45,000...Actor $3.5 million
Minister $9,000....Olympic Skier $5 million
Flight Inspector $61,000...Actress $8 million

When you add up the numbers in both columns and divide the results, you can quickly see that entertainment and sports are 570 times as valuable to us as health care, law enforcement, education. For some reason, I did not find some research scientists, construction workers, ice skaters, or pro golfers to put in the list. The value of their contributions must not be worth talking about.

I have been accused of saying that entertainers and sports figures are worthless, but that is not true. These people work very hard at playing their guitars, shaking their hips, and tossing balls with extreme accuracy. Moreover, we all need a certain amount of entertainment to relieve the stress and monotony of our depressing and arduous lives.

We all establish these values ourselves, when we attend a basketball game, or view and call in to American Idol, by seeing a movie or buying a DVD, or by voting down a measure to increase teachers' pay. So if the robbers and rapists have not been put in jail yet, if the roads are full of potholes, if our children cannot read or write, if we don't have a cure for cancer yet--it's because we find it 570 times more important to watch a rock singer on TV.

Friday, April 13, 2007

Weighing in on the Imus Story

It's been over three weeks since I posted to my Blog. I wanted to do a couple of postings each week, but recently nothing has spurred my desire to write.

The whole issue of the remarks by Imus about the Rutgers women's basketball team seems contorted and overblown to me. I decided to comment briefly on it though, primarily as a springboard for a couple of generalizations about our society:
  • Despite the initial gut reactions of a few, it is only one small thread in the tapestry of life--one of many that together form one of the uglier images on the tapestry.
  • I have never listened to the Imus radio show. I have seen a few minutes of a television interview with him, but aside from that, all I know about him is what I have read in the papers. So, I have no reason to defend him.
  • The remark by Imus is utterly disgusting, rude, demeaning, derogatory and totally tasteless. But our Constitution does guarantee us freedom of speech. As one judge put it, nothing in the constition prohibits a person from being a jerk.
  • It has been totally blown out of proportion by the hypocrites, Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton, who seldom hesitate to denigrate white people.
  • I don't think Imus had any specific intent to hurt or degrade the women on the team. His statement seems thoughtless rather than vicious. His public persona appears to be an "equal opportunity offender." He has been paid for years to say things that are disgusting, rude, and tasteless. He probably just repeated language that he heard from some rude and tasteless rappers.
  • NBC and CBS erred in firing Imus. The punishment far exceeds the crime. After all, they hired Imus and paid him to be disgusting, rude, and tasteless. Therefore, if Imus should go, then so should the executives who hired him. The media executives also fanned the flames of the equally tasteless Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton by continually spotlighting their equally bigoted distortions.

Having looked at this single fiber in the tapestry of our society, we should step back for a minute and look at a larger area of the tapestry. Of the many images, this fiber weaves through two of interest: First, for as long as I can remember our society has embraced a double standard with regard to remarks that are made about people's race, religion, or ethnicity--a double standard that often leads to a "lose-lose" situation. Second, in recent years society has drifted away from a rigid structure of consideration, propriety, civility, and etiquette which demands that we respect other people and have concern for their feelings and needs. The latter trend has spawned entertainers of the ilk of Don Imus; the double standard has allowed them and other public figures to fall into the same ditch that Imus did.

We have all experienced the double standard. Al Sharpton can lie about Tawana Brawley, and he gets a pass. A rapper can record songs that calls women "ho's" and he gets a pass. A woman being arrested for domestic violence can call the policeman a fascist pig, and she gets a pass. A Pole can tell a Polish joke, and his fellow Poles laugh and give him a pass. A Jewish man can call his neighbor a kike, and he gets a pass. If a Dane publishes a derogatory cartoon about Mohammed, his life is threatened. Rosie O'Donnel makes absurd and baseless statements on television, and she gets a pass. But let a Michael Richards or a Don Imus do any of the above, and he will be labelled a racist and a bigot, and be forced to apologize. The fact is that all of those lies, slurs, and jokes are disgusting, rude, tasteless and hurtful regardless of who makes the statements. But we never treat them that way across the board. Anyone who calls attention to this double standard is immediately labelled a bigot and a racist. When Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton and their ilk try to rationalize away the double standard, they are every bit as racist as the people they criticize. The double standard should have been abolished long ago, but it was not abolished, and I am sure that it will not be.

Many people have gradually concluded that displays of respect for others, civility, acts of respect, and the rules of etiquette are a waste of time and energy. We used to dress up when we went "downtown" to do our shopping out of respect for other shoppers; and when we went to church, out of respect for God. Now we wear t-shirts, cut-offs and sneakers to the malls and to church because we are lazy, and because we think both other people and God should accept us just as we are. Gentlemen used to stand when a lady entered the room. We used to hold the door open for the person following us through, but few people bother with the simple courtesies anymore. We used to learn and teach proper table manners and proper dinner conversation as a form of respect and consideration for those with whom we dine, but most folks can't be bothered with that. All of these formalities and constraints conditioned people to pause, to think, and to consider the feelings of the people around them before they spoke or acted. Now people do as they please; they eschew good taste and courtesy. They take pleasure in audacious art, in the brashness of the "shock jocks," and in the emphasis on violence, gore, and sex in both drama and comedy. The "line" that marks the boundary of acceptable behavior is moving farther and farther away from respectful, courteous, and ethical. But, as Imus learned, the "line" still exists. It is just so far from reasonable decency and respect that it is much easier to stumble across. And the "line" is drawn in a different place for each individual.