Oh, Really, Michael?

Michael Moore first got my attention with his film Roger and Me. At the time, I was employed by Hughes Aircraft, which was owned by General Motors. Moore's depiction of Roger Smith taking home a big salary and attending lush parties while he closed plants, fired workers, and had the sherriff evict them from their homes was full of hyperbole, but it rang true for me. Little has changed on the corporate scene since then. CEOs still close plants, then take gigantic salaries and bonuses. Even those who fail to turn a company around leave with huge separation packages. For most of them, "turn a company around" really means cut the quality of the product or service, lay off lots of people, and take home a few million dollars. There are still a lot of Roger Smiths out there.

But since then, I have liked Michael Moore less and less. I think his success went to his head. He started attacking a lot of other things with the same gusto, comedy, and hyperbole. Unfortunately, they are things that he knows little about, and seems to understand even less. He has embraced the radical end of the left wing, and not done very will at it.

On Friday, November 17, 2006, an Op-ed piece by Michael Moore appeared in the Los Angeles Times. It is cast as a pledge from a liberal to the conservatives who just lost control of the House and the Senate. He makes 12 promises to treat conservatives fairly. Michael Moore's Pledge

His usual hyperbole, though, gives the pledge an obsequious tone. While some of the 12 promises seem earnest enough, some ring hollow for me. Recent words from Michael and his companions contradict them. The pledges are summarized below, along with some parenthetic remarks added to those that do not ring true to me.

1. We will always respect you. We will never, ever, call you "unpatriotic" simply because you disagree with us... [We reserve the right, however, to investigate the living daylights out of those of you we don't like. And we will start impeachment proceedings on Bush as soon as we can]

2. We will let you marry whomever you want...Love and be in love -- it's a wonderful gift.

3. We will not spend your grandchildren's money on our personal whims, or to enrich our friends...[But we will be raising taxes for our health and education programs, and Sen. Murtha will continue to see that defense contracts are awarded to companies that subcontract in his district, regardless of price and technical merit.]

4. When we soon bring our sons and daughters home for Iraq, we will bring your sons and daughters home too...[and we will leave the Shiites and the Sunnis to kill each other and the Kurds--that's their tough luck]...We promise never to send your kids off to war based on some amateur Power Point presentation cooked up by men who have never been to war. [this one is too ludicrous for comment]

5. We will make America the last Western democracy to have universal health coverage...you too will be able to see a doctor, regardless of your ability to pay...[we promise to make your children and your grandchildren pay for this one] ...And when stem cell research delivers treatments and cures for diseases...we'll make sure those advances are available to you and your family too.

6. When we clean up our air and water, you too will be able to breath the cleaner air and drink purer water...[children and grandchildren, open up your pocketbooks again]...and when we put an end to global warming...[hey, Michael, get that magic wand out!]

7. Should a mass murderer ever kill 3,000 people on our soil, we will devote every single resource to tracking him down...Imediately. We will protect you. [I don't believe it--you had opportunities to track him down before he killed 3,000 people, and you blew them.]

8. We will never stick our nose in your bedroom or your womb.

9. We will not take away your hunting guns. If you need an automatic weapon or a handgun to kill a bird or a deer, then you really aren't much of a hunter...

10. When we raise the minimum wage, we will raise it for your employees, too...[and hundreds of small businesses will fold, large businesses will outsource offshore and have layoffs; fewer people will have jobs, and prices will go up. We will just pull ourselves up by our own bootstraps.]

11. We will respect your religious beliefs, even when you don't practice them...We will let people in other countries know that God doesn't just bless America, he blesses everyone...[But of course, we will keep God out of the schools, remove his name and words from public buildings, and keep him confined to inside your churches and temples where he belongs]

12. We will not tolerate politicians who are corrupt and break the law. And we promise you we will go after the corrupt politicians on our side first...[Wonderful!! May I send you a list? Start with John Murtha]

So, in summary, I accept #2, #8, #9, and #12. I can also accept #5 and #6, but they totally invalidate #3. While I would like to accept #1, #3, #7, and #11, I just don't believe that you will do what you say in them. Finally, #4 and #10 are off the chart, wrong. So, sorry Michael, you only bat about .500 on this one.